Profound Thoughts

I finally made it to the new breaved parents group at a different location tonight. I honestly have a MILLION different emotions tonite as I sit and try to sort them out. I'm not sure how to be a breaved parent for one or how long I'm supposed to be one. My dear friend told me I'd be one for a lifetime. I'm not so sure I liked that answer quite frankly...MWAH girl...I know she's a follower.  I guess in someways that label will always be a life sentence I'll have to work through. I know I don't like it..infact I hate the way it sounds and sits in my head. My first thought with that label is sad. I don't want to be sad for a lifetime. I'd actually like the rest of whats left of this life to happy and fulfulled. I also know I'm a different person now...I just don't know WHO that is YET. I hope that the person this journey forms is one I can accept. I was just starting to like aspects of the old me, but this change has started a journey to a very different me. One that in the end I hope the people that are on this journey with me can be ok with.