A Great First Day

I know I've taken awhile to up this post about the kids first day of school. I just get busy and with the dream this morning I felt more impressed to write about that then this, but I keep getting asked how the kids did and how were adjusting to Geoff's departure. When alarms went off Monday AM I awoke with just a feeling of "well, its finally here"... had such reluctance of how the day would go as I've been dreading this day since I could move past the funeral. The kids got up without problems and dressed and came out of there rooms with the same excitement as last yrs first day. I could see a little hesitation in there faces and nervousness about how there day would play out. I made the traditional first day of school breakfast..scrambled eggs and pancakes. Now, I normally do a ton of first day pics but this year as you can imagine I wasn't in the photographing mood, but I knew I needed something to show for the day. Keep the same routine as every other year the same for the kids sake. I lined them up and snapped there pics and did a few of them together and then loaded them in the Jeep. We arrive and of course I take a deep breath not just for me but for the kids as well. This is only half the battle of the first day now we have to go in the building and see people..face the friends of Nathan that were also left behind. As thoughts play in mind of "who will ask?" and "what will I say" dance in my head I try not to make eye contact that much with people. We took Nick man to class first and took a pic at his desk and made sure he was comfortable before heading for the 5th grade hall. He seemed to be adjusting fine so i was able to exhale. He's been dreading this day..not for reason's you'd think with his brothers passing but because we decided to hold him back and his friends are in 1st grade and now he has to redo Kinder. He'd been saying in the days before how he wanted to "just be with his friends." We've assured him that he'll do better than everyone since he's done the work before and what a great helper he'll be. So...that seemed to ease that for now. We climbed the steps up to the 5th grade hall and a feeling of uneasiness found its way to  my stomach..more of a man this is just ODD! Natalie being so anxious darts in her classroom finds her desk and starts organizing it. I went over did the same thing I did to Nick took a pic at her desk and asked her the same if she was ok? She smiled and said she was fine so I exhaled and prepared to walk out and toward the car. Now this was the longest walk ever because you just don't know who your gonna see...lucky for me I made it out the door and to my car without any questions..A looks..but these are looks I know well. Its the look of "that's the women who lost her son." And the look of "I wanna say something I just don't know what." I've said before just talk to me please..staring at me like a freak show bothers me way worse then answering questions or talking about Nathan. When I got to the car and started it up it was a huge relief that we'd survived this first. Geoff spent the day doing laundry and packing up as the next morning he headed off to Ft. Hood till the 8th where he'll train and then get a 4 day pass to come home and then head out early on the 12th to Afghanistan from Ft. Hood. When the kids got home we asked how the day went both kids said it was fine that some people did ask about Nathan and they just said he passed away. Natalie said one child didn't believe her when she told him..I guess it is still a shock to some. The shock for us sadly is wearing off and reality is setting in. Geoff headed out early on Tues before kids got up so there was no drama made the day run smoothly for them. Were doing well school flowing nicely and adjustments are being made to Geoff's absence. I took the meal calenders down since schools back up and its now time to return to life, but again we are so grateful for all the service that was rendered for our family....All in All we've had a smooth first few days of school and pray that the year goes the same.